i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
