so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
