Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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