Sry I called you an 8
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize