I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
