i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
