I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
