My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
