This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
