but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
wow bdsm is so cute
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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