puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
