Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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