Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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