If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
