Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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