i was born a porn star she said
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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