So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
