i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
