Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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