can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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