well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
