the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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