I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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