if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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