I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize