Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize