Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
