I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
