i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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