So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize