Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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