If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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