She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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