i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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