Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
