Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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