all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
