i barfeds in our rink
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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