"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
