In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
