every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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