Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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