we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
