There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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