She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
