Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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