lets start a swedish sibling band together
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
