I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
