Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
farters have to be the big spoon...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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