Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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