i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
