i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
