I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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