ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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