Sponge bath it is.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
