Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
