from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
