even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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