How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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