it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize