I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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