he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
