My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize