We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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